Prostate Orgasm: Tips | Techniques | Positions | Benefits

How to Have a Prostate Orgasm: 35 Tips for You and Your Partner

What is it?

The prostate — or P-spot, as it’s often called — is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid found in the ejaculate.

It helps propel semen from the penis. It’s also surrounded by nerve endings that can feel oh-so-good when touched just right.

Curious? Read on to learn how to find this backdoor wonder and bring your body to orgasm.

Who can do it?

Not everyone has as prostate!

Only cisgender men and people assigned male at birth have them, but that doesn’t mean that other folks have to miss out on the fun.

Helping someone achieve one of these mind-blowing orgasms is pretty awesome, too. High-five!

Where exactly is the prostate?

The prostate is located about two inches inside the rectum, between the rectum and the penis.

How do you find it?

You’ll need to head south along the back road to find it in a magical place called the anal region.

Although entering through the anus is the most direct way, you can also stimulate the prostate indirectly through the perineum, or taint.

This is the skin that runs underneath the scrotum to the anus.

What does the prostate feel like?

It depends on whether you’re feeling it from the outside or inside.

Being aroused makes it swell, so the more turned on you are before you poke around, the easier it’ll be to feel.

From the outside

The perineum is firmer near the front of the penile bulb, which is the inner ending of the shaft.

It feels softer and fleshier toward the back. This is the area you’re aiming for.

You may not be able to actually feel the gland, but touching it will likely cause the sensation of needing to pee.

This is a sign that you’re where you want to be — trust us!

From the inside

It feels like a fleshy bulb of tissue on the front wall of the rectal lining. It’ll feel different from the other tissue in there.

Is it easy to orgasm this way?

Let’s say it may take some practice and patience.

Actual clinical research on prostate-induced orgasms is seriously lacking, so we don’t know how common it is or if it’s possible for everyone with a prostate to have this type of orgasm.

Everybody is different, so some experimenting to see what feels good is in order. If you do manage to have one, reproducing it will be easy.

What does a prostate orgasm feel like?

P-spot orgasms are said to feel similar to penile orgasms, only way more intense and felt through the entire body.

There are reports of people having super orgasms, which are a stream of fast, continuous orgasms that cause the body to shudder.

Not everyone ejaculates during a prostate orgasm, but some release a dribble of milky fluid from the urethra.

Will, it hurt at all?

Minor discomfort the first couple of times (as you adjust to the sensation of anal penetration) is normal, but it shouldn’t cause severe pain.

How to get started

A little bit of prep can help make the experience a good one whether you’re flying solo, or on the giving or receiving end of things.

If you’re the receiving partner

You’ll want to be as relaxed and aroused as possible because it’ll make the experience easier and more enjoyable.

The whole poop-comes-out-of-the-butt thing gives some people a case of the heebie-jeebies even when it’s their own butt.

Remedy this by taking a shower and paying a little extra attention back there to get it squeaky clean. Some people like to use an enema before engaging in butt play, but it isn’t necessary.

Use the bathroom before getting started. Prostate stimulation can make you feel like you need to pee, and anal penetration can cause the sensation of needing to poop.

Even though you won’t actually do either, worrying that you might interfere with your ability to let go and enjoy yourself. Knowing your bladder and bowels are empty can help.

Getting used to the sensation of having your prostate touched can help, too. Practice with an anal sex toy, like a butt plug, or your fingers.

Be sure to set the mood so that you’ve turned on and primed for action. Light candles, watch porn or engage in some good old-fashioned masturbation or foreplay to get there.

Finally, be sure to lube up real good. Applying a water-based lubricant will allow for easier penetration and make for some easy gliding if stimulating your prostate externally.

If you’re the giving partner

Cleanliness and safety are a must, even for the giver.

Cut and file your nails smooth to help avoid scratching or tearing the delicate skin in and around the anus.

Wash your hands thoroughly, even if you’re planning to use a condom over your finger to penetrate your partner. (Yes, you can do that if it makes you more comfortable.) For extra comfort, stuff cotton balls inside the condom or glove.

You can also get the party started in the shower together, which serves as foreplay and gets you both all nice and clean for the big show.

Techniques to try

You’ll probably need to try a few different moves and experiment with speed and pressure to find what feels best.

Here are some techniques to try, whether you’re using fingers or toys.

With your fingers

  • Come hither. Gently insert your lubed index finger into the anus and curl your finger upward in a “come hither” motion toward the belly button. Keep repeating the motion while gradually increasing your speed as the pleasure builds.
  • Doorbell. Rest the pad of your finger against the outside of the prostate and gently press as you would ring a doorbell. Mix it up by using different pressure or holding the press for shorter and longer intervals to find what works. You can use the doorbell technique when penetrating the anus, too.
  • Circling. Use the pad of your finger and run it all around the prostate, circling your way around the entire perimeter of the gland. Change up the pressure and speed and continue with the combo that feels best, allowing the pleasure to build up.
  • Simulated vibration. Any move that feels good can be sped up to the point of feeling like a vibrator. This can be a little hard on the wrist after a while, so it’s best to save this kind of speed when orgasm is close.

With a massager, strap-on, or other sex toys

If you’re playing with sex toys, you can really mix it up by playing with the different vibration settings, as well as pressure and depth.

  • Pressure. Controlling pressure when using a toy is easier, especially when you’re playing solo. Try pressing the toy against the prostate using more or less pressure till you find your sweet spot.
  • Depth. Depth is another area where toys win out since reaching can make it hard to go deep if that’s what you crave. Try different sized anal toys or get a longer one that you can insert as deep as your bottom desires.
  • Vibrations. You can buy prostate massagers that offer up multiple speed and pulse settings. Play with different settings to find your preference. Up the vibes, as you get closer to orgasm.
  • Sensation. Some prostate massagers have an attached external stimulator to give your perineum some sweet lovin’ while the other end penetrates. Who doesn’t love a hard worker?


If your partner has a penis, you can kick things up a notch with penis-in-anus penetration. Prostate stimulation for you, penile stimulation for them — and a happy ending for you both.

Positions to try

Different positions can make reaching and pleasuring the prostate easier. These positions work for external and internal prostate stimulation, alone and with a partner.


To do this by yourself:

  1. Lie face down.
  2. Reach your arm behind you and rest it on your back.
  3. Reach your perineum or anus with your finger.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Lie face down with your arms at your sides and legs slightly apart.
  2. Have them sit next to you on the side most comfortable for them.
  3. Have them gently massage your prostate.

Legs up

To do this by yourself:

  1. Lie on your back.
  2. Pull your knees up towards your chest as close as you can comfortably.
  3. Use one arm to hold your legs in place.
  4. Use your other hand to reach your anus.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Lie on your back.
  2. Pull your knees up towards your chest, holding them in place with both hands.
  3. Have them kneel in front of you and massage your prostate internally, externally, or both simultaneously.

On your side, one leg to chest

  1. Lie on your side.
  2. Bring your outer leg up towards your chest.
  3. Reach your hand around to your anus.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Lie on your side.
  2. Bring your outer leg towards your chest.
  3. Have them sit behind you to reach your anus.


To do this by yourself:

  1. Get down on all fours.
  2. Reach your arm between your legs or around your back to reach your anus.

To do this with a partner:

  1. Get down on all fours.
  2. Have them kneel behind you to reach your anus.

What about “milking”?

Milking the prostate refers to the act of massaging the prostate until fluid comes out.

The fluid, which is milky, hence the term, may come out while you’re stimulating the prostate.

Officially, the fluid is called prostatic fluid, which is basically ejaculate without the sperm.

Got milk? Then keep at whatever it is you’re doing because it’s a sign that you’re getting close.

Stroking the penis at the same time can take it to another level of pleasure and get you there faster.

The term prostate milking is also sometimes used to refer to a therapeutic prostate massage used to manage symptoms of prostate problems, which we’ll get to next.

Is a prostate massage the same thing as trying for a prostate orgasm?

Yes. If you massage the prostate in a way that feels good, you’re probably going to have an orgasm if you keep at it.

Some doctors recommend prostate massage therapy to help relieve the symptoms of certain conditions, such as painful ejaculation prostatitis.

Wait, so there are actual health benefits on top of orgasming?

Yep! Though evidence on the efficacy of prostate massage for certain conditions is somewhat limited, it does appear to have some benefits.

It may help improve erectile dysfunction (ED)

Though not as common as it once was, prostate stimulation is still sometimes used to treat ED. It can be used on its own or alongside other ED treatments, including medication and pumps.

It may help improve urine flow

Prostate swelling can put pressure on the urethra and interfere with urine flow. A prostate massage can help relieve some of the swellings to allow better urine flow.

It may help alleviate painful ejaculation

Fluid blockages in the reproductive system can cause pain during ejaculation. Prostate massage can sometimes help eliminate blockages.

It may help prevent or even treat prostatitis

Massage used to be the primary treatment for prostatitis, which is a painful inflammation of the prostate. Antibiotics have since taken its place, though some people may still use it to relieve symptoms.

It may help relieve benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) symptoms

BPH is an enlargement of the prostate that becomes more common with age. One 2009 review found that using a prostate massager relieved lower urinary tract symptoms of BPH.


Anal play may not be everyone’s bag, but if you’re willing to give it a try, an intense full-body orgasm may be the payoff.

Consent and safety are key, so once you’ve got that settled you can get down to the fun part — experimenting with fingers, toys, and anything else that tickles your fancy.


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